


Anyone Else Glad We Missed That?

by iheartmwpp



Series: Yet Another Parody Series: Kingdom Hearts [13]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Character Study, Humor, Parody, Plot analysis, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 03:57:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iheartmwpp/pseuds/iheartmwpp
Summary: Sora, Riku, and Kairi receive a message from the King. And are very confused and alarmed.





	Anyone Else Glad We Missed That?

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I copied the Coded summary from 3D verbatim, basically. There might be some indication that I didn't like that installment all that much.

The palm tree leaves swayed slowly in the breeze as Sora ran up to where Riku was sitting in his usual spot. Sora jumped up and over the bent-down tree and leaned his back against the trunk, putting his hands behind his head as he relaxed beside his best friend. The two of them were silent for a moment, staring out at the waves.

“Nothing's changed, huh?” said Riku softly.

“Nope,” said Sora, squinting a little at the sun that hadn't yet begun to set. “Nothing will.”

“...What a small world,” said Riku, only now truly able to understand exactly how small.

“But part of one that's much bigger,” Sora pointed out with a grin.

“Yeah,” Riku admitted. They continued to stare out at the horizon until Sora spoke again.

“Hey Riku...what do you think it was — the door to the light?”

Riku slid off the tree with a chuckle and pointed to Sora's chest.

“This,” he said simply.

“This?” asked Sora, putting his hand over his heart.

“Yeah,” said Riku. “It's always closer than you think.”

Sora couldn't help but smile brightly at that.

“Sora! Riku!” Kairi called out to them as she ran across the bridge to where they were standing. She seemed to be holding something in her hands, and she clutched it tightly when she reached them, stopping to catch her breath.

“Hey, what's up?” asked Sora, concerned.

“Look,” said Kairi, holding out a bottle. It held a small scroll of paper inside, and on it was stamped a very familiar seal.

“From the king?” asked Sora, taking the bottle and removing its contents. Riku and Kairi each chose a shoulder to look over as Sora unfurled the letter and began to read. _“'I wanted to tell you right away, about memories from the past that sleep within you, and about the pieces that will tie you to your future.'”_

“'Pieces that will tie you to your future'?” Kairi repeated. “Is he going out of his way to be poetical or something?”

“And if he really wanted to tell us right away, why not take the Gummi Ship and come to us directly instead of throwing some litter into the ocean on the off-chance it would float over to this planet and one of us would pick it up?” Riku pointed out.

“No idea, so how 'bout two shut up and let me read?” said Sora, annoyed, trying to find his place again. _“'Jiminy was surprised to find a mysterious message in one of his journals, which was supposed to be blank: 'Their hurting will be mended when you return to end it.'”_ Sora stopped, puzzled. “That's strange,” he said. “I don't remember him finding that, and he flipped through the whole journal, I thought. All I remember is the message to thank Naminé. Which I totally didn't do still...”

“It's cool, she knows,” said Kairi.

“Really?”

“I have no idea, I'm just trying to make you feel better. Did it work?”

“It did not.”

“Well, can't blame a girl for trying,” said Kairi with a shrug.

“So had Jiminy actually combed through his journal a little more than not at all...” murmured Riku.

“It sounds like we would've actually been around to help in the moment, yes,” Sora concluded for him before turning back to the letter. _“'To help better understand the message, I — really, Chip and Dale — created a “datascape” from the worlds within the journal.'”_

“A what?” asked Kairi.

“Iunno.”

“Data...so maybe a _digital_ , er, version of the journal?” said Riku. “So, like, did they just type it into OpenOffice or something? Or is the implication that they basically made a video game out of a blank diary? Instantaneously?”

“I guess that second thing,” said Sora. “Listen to this: _'But the datascape was riddled with bugs, and I had to rely on the digital version of Sora to debug the journal from the inside.'_ So I guess he made a digital version of me to do his bidding for him. Somehow.”

“...That kind of sound like slavery to anyone else?” said Kairi hesitantly.

“Eh, I'm sure it's fine.”

“So they made a computer program that looked and acted like you,” said Riku, “and basically used him as an anti-virus program to get rid of malware on their computer. Which is actually a book written in by a magical talking cricket.”

“That's about the size of it, yeah,” said Sora.

“...Anyone else a little relieved we weren't there?”

“Getting to that point surprisingly quickly, yes. Okay, here we go: _'While exploring the Destiny Islands datascape, a figure in a black coat explained that uncovering the “Keyholes” was the only way to mend the worlds. Sora found the Keyhole in Traverse Town, and used it to reach the next world.'”_

“That confirms it,” said Riku. “There was a digital clone of you running around in digital versions of the various planets we've been to over the past couple of years. Probably just that first year, frankly...”

“I'm surprised they didn't call you over to help them out,” said Kairi. “Seems like it'd be easier than making a clone of you to do their bidding for them.”

“There's a strong chance that this way, the data clone could be programmed to have less free will than this guy,” said Riku. “Or at least made to be more compliant. You were right: they created a slave.”

The three of them stood in silence for several long moments as the realization of what their so-called friends had done sunk in. At length, Sora shook himself violently and cleared his throat several times before diving back into the letter, reading slightly more quickly 

_“'As he did, a new message appeared in the journal back at Disney Castle...and I was alarmed to discover the castle had been invaded by Heartless! Worse yet, Donald, Goofy, and I were now trapped in the library.'”_

“So?” said Kairi, overcoming her own discomfort, at least for the moment. “The king has a Keyblade, right?”

“Yep,” said Sora. “Either it didn't work or he didn't think of it. Probably the latter.”

“Has that never not worked on anything you've ever tried to unlock?” asked Riku. “Aside from in Castle Oblivion where the Keyblade didn't work on doors at all and we needed keycards for everything?”

“Actually, there were a lot of closed doors and things in the Traverse and Twilight Towns that I never bothered checking to see if I could go through them or not,” said Sora. “Who knows if the Keyblade would've helped or not.”

“Why didn't you try going through any of them again?” asked Kairi. “You never had problems breaking and entering every _other_ place you visited.”

“I honestly couldn't tell you,” said Sora, shrugging and returning to the letter. _“'Again, Sora came face-to-face with the figure in the black coat.'_ It is so weird to read about myself in third-person like this. _'And this time, when he followed the stranger, he found himself in the same room as me and the others. How had we wound up in the same place?'”_

“Is he not gonna tell us?” asked Riku.

“He does in the next paragraph,” said Sora, who had unconsciously read ahead.

“...Then why phrase it like this.”

“Iunno, shut up, this shit's about to get even weirder. _'The figure in the black coat turned out to be a digital version of Riku, who explained what was going on.'”_

“...Okay, _what!?”_ said Riku and Kairi in unison.

“I know,” said Sora, pressing on. _“' He had been chosen by the journal as backup storage to protect its data. Now Riku and the journal were one and the same, and he had brought me and the others into the datascape to help solve the mysterious message.'_ Okay. _None_ of that made sense to me.”

“Can we at least be sure that this isn't about my replica?” asked Riku.

“Your what?” asked Sora and Kairi together.

“...I thought — Oh, right, Sora's memory was basically erased,” said Riku. “When we were in Castle Oblivion, an Organization member named Vexen created his own clone of me in order to fuck with you. And then I believe another member named Zexion used him to fuck with me after Vexen was killed by Axel; to be honest the details are a little fuzzy for me as well but that's just because it's been so long.”

“What happened to him?” asked Kairi.

“I mean, we fought, and I won out, and my replica _seemingly_ vanished,” said Riku. “It definitely looked like he was dead, but...I don't know.”

“Even if he isn't,” said Sora, “I still think this is something different. I don't know why Jiminy's journal chose your form to take when it was primarily written about not-you, but if it was anything like you it probably made things easier for my data clone.”

“Unless of course he was more like how I was when our planet first imploded,” Riku pointed out. “Then I imagine it would've made things infinitely more difficult.”

“Nah, this one doesn't seem possessed by Ansem,” Sora pointed out. “That's where most of the conflict between us happened, after all.”

“Ah, but that didn't happen until after our first fight in Hollow Bastion,” said Riku. “I was a dick by choice up until that point.”

“Well then I don't know what to tell you so I'm just gonna keep reading,” said Sora, turning back to the letter. _“'Just then, someone took over the pathway between the datascape and the real world. There was no escape!'”_

“The Keyblade,” said Riku and Kairi, deadpan.

“No you don't understand, there was no escape,” said Sora dully. _“'Sora set off to repair more worlds and secure a way home for his friends.'_ Woooow,” he said in the same dull tone. “This sounds like so much fun. I'm so sad I wasn't there to help out. Please believe me.”

“Oh, absolutely,” said Riku, chuckling. He stopped when Sora groaned loudly. “What?”

_“'It turned out that Maleficent and her henchman Pete were the culprits,'”_ Sora read in a resigned voice.

“Oh come on!” cried Riku.

_“Why!?”_ wailed Kairi.

“I don't know. _'They were plotting to release the darkness inside the datascape into the real world.'_ Of course they were. _'Sora tried to stop her, but she destroyed his Keyblade and kidnapped Riku.'”_

“Awesome...Wait, Data-You had a Keyblade?” asked Riku.

“Seems like it,” said Sora. “I'd wondered how he'd managed to go through the Keyholes that were brought up earlier.”

“Did Mickey actually manage to give Data-You a real Keyblade,” said Kairi, “or do you think they made a digital version that looked like a Keyblade.”

“I wanna say the second option, but it's not all that clear, frankly,” said Sora. “Ahem. _'I went after Riku, and Sora went after me.'”_

“And not me?” said Riku, mock-hurt.

“Sorry, buddy,” said Sora with a grin. “Looks like the digital versions of us don't get along as well as we do.”

“Or they get along _exactly_ like you two,” said Kairi with a grin. Riku hit her upside the head and motioned for Sora to continue.

_“'Sora's friendship with Donald and Goofy gave him the power to recreate the Keyblade.'_ Yep. They created life. If this clone of me could make a Keyblade that a hundred percent was not digital, then this guy is alive. He is a person. And he is yet another version of me. I am starting to get sick of this.”

“How,” said Kairi, “you only have the one clone. Well, two, now, I guess. Roxas and this digital version.”

“And one was enough, thanks,” muttered Sora. “Bet you anything there're more that we don't know about.”

“I'm not taking that bet,” said Riku. “Keep going.”

“M'kay. _'Pete had infected Riku with bugs and tried to put the two friends against each other, but after a short fight, the infected Riku collapsed.'_ Ha HA I still beat you in some fashion. _'Sora dove into Riku's datascape to save his friend, and defeated Maleficent inside.'_ Fucking...huh?”

“What are you even reading right now,” said Kairi, “none of this makes any sense.”

“I mean,” said Riku, looking a bit green, “nothing we do ever really does make sense, but this is...Also now Maleficent's inside me in addition to Ansem, great.”

“I don't think that's true in reality,” said Sora. “This digital...reality seems to make up rules as it goes along.”

“I guess...”

Sora looked at his friend sympathetically before pressing on.

_“'However, it wasn't until he took out his own Heartless — the original bug which was threatening to delete the datascape — that the journal was finally restored.'_ Thought that Kairi destroyed it with the power of hugs but okay. _'But because restoring the journal was tantamount to overwriting all record of this newest journey, Data Sora and I had to say good-bye.'”_

“Wait wait wait,” said Kairi. “Does that mean this data version of you is fucking dead now? Because that's what happens when you get rid of old data. It's gone. And if data can live now, overwriting it means you've _killed_ the original data.”

“They created new life on a whim and then they killed it,” said Riku. “I...did not know Mickey as well as I thought I did. I'm not sure I like what he's become. Who he possibly always was.”

Sora was silent for a while before continuing with, _“'However, the mysterious message was still a mystery.'_ Wow, great fucking wording there, Mickey, Merlin's scrotum...”

“Thanks for that lovely visual,” said Kairi, her face scrunched up.

“Oh like you'll ever meet him when you're not possessing me. Anyway. _'Back in the real world, the others and I received a message from Data Riku that “extra data” had been found. They would need Data Sora's help one last time.'_ Even though, y'know, I was already dead.”

“So they just made _another_ disposable slave to murder once again after they were through with him?” said Kairi scathingly. “Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Yeah I think we're gonna have to have words with the king when we inevitably see him again. So. _'The extra data was a special word designed to make Sora learn how to cope with hurt.'_ Implying that I don't already? I hung out with fucking _Donald_ for over a year, I know what pain is. Also that time where my two real best friends were either missing or in a coma and then the first one continued to be missing and I thought he was dead. And then that one time where I thought Goofy was dead, that actually hurt _way_ more than I thought it was. Moving on, _'When Data Sora was finally ready to accept that hurt, Naminé appeared before him.'”_

“...Isn't Naminé part of me now?” asked Kairi, placing a hand on her chest. “Do they mean a data version of her, this is starting to get confusing. Like, even more than it already was.”

“Yeah, I feel like at least Mickey should be denoting who's physical and who's digital,” Riku agreed. “At least it makes sense that Naminé would somehow be in the journal, being the one who erased it in the first place.”

“Good point.”

_“'She explained that inside him were special memories that belonged to people connected to the real Sora — people who were hurting,'”_ Sora went on. _“'The mysterious message was her way of reaching out to him and preparing him for that truth.'”_ Or, y'know, she could've told me when we met up that one time right before we came back here. Or if she and Roxas could find some way to communicate through us.”

“I would like that to be a thing as well,” Kairi chimed in.

“Hang on, almost done here: _'I promised Naminé that we would undo all the hurt. Back in the real world, I then wrote this letter to you, the real Sora, and explained there were others out there that only you could save.'”_ Wow. Thanks for spelling that out for us. Dipshit.”

“Are we done yet,” said Riku, sounding exhausted.

“One more paragraph,” said Sora, “but it's longer than the rest, so strap in. _'Sora, Riku, Kairi...The truth behind the Keyblade has found its way through so many people, and now I know that it rests in your hearts.'”_

“Ooooh, am I going to be involved this time?” said Kairi, bouncing up and down in excitement.

“Eh, maybe the next one,” said Riku. “Hear me out,” he added hastily, raising his hand as Kairi turned to him angrily. “You desperately needed to catch your breath just now, and that was just from a light jog over to us. If you're going to go through what we have to do physically on a nearly hourly basis, you are going to have to build up some kind of endurance before we throw you into another battle.”

“I guess that's fair,” Kairi admitted, staring glumly at the ground regardless.

_“'Sora,'”_ Sora continued. _“'You are who you are because of those people, but they're hurting, and you're the only one who can end their sadness. They need you.'_ Okay, I was going to help anyway, but the way this is worded I kinda feel guilted into helping now.”

“Yeah I feel like this entire thing could've been worded better,” said Riku.

“Tell me about it. _'It's possible that all your journeys so far have been preparing you for this great new task that's waiting for you.'_ Oh good, no pressure as always, great. _'I should have known there were no coincidences, only links in a much larger chain of events. And now the door to your next journey is ready to be opened.'_ AND WE'RE DONE.”

“Finally,” muttered Kairi. “That took fucking forever.”

“...You think it would've taken less time if we didn't interrupt and comment after every single sentence?” asked Riku.

They thought for a moment before grinning at each other.

_“Naaaaah,”_ they said in unison.


End file.
